


EPISODE NINE: "I Just Wanted To Be In Charge And In Control"

by gaypetersimmonds



Series: Skam Brighton: Season Two [10]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Jewish Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Trans Character, Episode 9, F/M, Gen, also stan esther, but the way james and liz talk here is just hhhh good!, godddd i love the first clip of this ep so much, i also forgot james was jewish lmaooo, like the fight in the og i Hated, please free her, skam season 2, tw for liz having a meltdown in clip 4, tw for liz having a panic attack in clip 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-06 22:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds
Summary: Liz Tudor is stressed out. Between studying for her GCSEs, her pressuring parents, stealing glances at girls across hallways and her friends never really understanding her, she has a lot on her plate.That's not even to mention everything going on inside her head.Liz just want perfection in everything - her grades, her looks, her life - and she'll get it, whether everyone likes it or not. However, James Cohen seems to like it a bit too much.FIRST CLIP: The Perfect Skinny Blonde White Girl





	1. CLIP ONE: "The Perfect Skinny Blonde White Girl"

**SATURDAY, MAY 18TH, 09:07**

 

EXT. PLAYGROUND

 

_“Devil In Disguise” by Gabriel Parker_ is playing as LIZ sits on a bench, looking angstily into the distance, not blinking.

 

After a few moments, JAMES walks up to her and stands above her. She looks up at him, seeing the bruises on his face, and he smiles.

 

JAMES  
Hey.

 

LIZ attempts a smile, but it doesn’t really work.

 

JAMES  
I got your message. First one in a while.

 

There’s a pause, LIZ nervously laughing.

 

JAMES  
It’s really early.

 

There’s a pause, and JAMES bites his lip, concerned.

 

JAMES  
Hey, are you doing okay?

 

LIZ stands up.

 

LIZ  
Let’s go for a walk.

 

She walks off, in the direction JAMES came, and JAMES follows her, confused.

 

EXT. STREET

 

JAMES and LIZ walk down the street for a while, in very awkward silence.

 

JAMES  
Can-- Can we stop?

 

They stop and LIZ turns to face him, sighing.

 

JAMES  
Can we actually talk instead of just being weird?

 

LIZ  
Talk about what?

 

JAMES  
Whatever’s bothering you.

 

LIZ does something between a sigh and a laugh.

 

LIZ  
There is  _ nothing  _ bothering me.

 

JAMES raises his eyebrows at her.

 

LIZ  
Seriously.

 

JAMES  
I can tell. Come on, you can talk to me.

 

LIZ sighs again and there’s a pause.

 

LIZ  
Look… You smashed a bottle over a guy’s head.

 

JAMES  
What? How do you know?

 

LIZ  
I saw it happen.

 

JAMES  
Oh… So then you know it was self defence, right?

 

LIZ  
Bryan never even touched you and you could’ve killed him.

 

JAMES chuckles to himself.

 

JAMES  
God, I wish.

 

LIZ  
James! That’s so fucked up to say! This is serious.

 

JAMES  
What’s “serious” is that the school football team is full of racist bigots.

 

LIZ  
That’s a bit of a strong word, isn’t it?

 

JAMES  
What is? Racist or bigot? Because they’re both the right word for those dicks. Look, someone had to do something about it, someone had to step up.

 

LIZ  
No! No one had to do anything! You could’ve just talked to Bryan and the team about all of this instead of continuing to hurt him. Or you could’ve told the principal or something. You could’ve done anything, but instead you chose  _ violence _ .

 

JAMES  
Why do you think the principal would do anything about it? She wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t change how much she cares about getting trophies. Words can’t change shit that’s already implanted in someone’s head, they can only affect them in the smallest ways, and if you think just talking to someone will make things better, you’re honestly naive.

 

LIZ  
I’m naive for thinking violence doesn’t solve anything? Words can change everything, James, and if you think punching makes more of an impact, then you’re an idiot.

 

A car drive past them, blasting _“War” by Edwin Starr_ , as JAMES tries to speak. He eventually gives up and lets the car and the music fade out into the distance.

 

JAMES  
Look, Elizabeth, violence solves things everyday. How do you think I got to where I am? To be standing here, alive today? By fighting. Do I think war is a good thing? No. Absolutely not. But at least I can say it does solve things, unlike fucking talking. Hey, how did women get their rights? Did they just smile calmly and have a polite conversation? What about people of colour? Or gay people? Or trans people? We had to fight, because silence is death. Maybe some things can be solved with talking, little arguments and misunderstandings, but getting called slurs and being beaten up for being brown? I have to fight against that, otherwise they’ll think they’ve won, and letting them win is letting them know that it’s okay to do something like that, when it’s not. Do you hear the things they say, Elizabeth? To me? To all of your friends? Because they all think that we should be dead.

 

LIZ  
Just because you have different opinion doesn’t mean--

 

JAMES  
My opinion is that people deserve human rights, their opinion is that they don’t. 

 

LIZ  
Then why don’t you just ignore them? They’ll go away eventually.

 

JAMES  
Weren’t you listening? That’s letting them get away with it. And I can’t do that, not morally. Because when I fight, I’m fighting for the people who’ll come after me, because if I manage to get one asshole to shut the fuck up, then they won’t have to hear some of the shit I’ve heard. But then again… I don’t expect you to understand.

 

LIZ   
What’s that supposed to mean?

 

JAMES  
Come on, look at you. You’re the perfect, skinny, blonde white girl.

 

LIZ looks uncomfortable as JAMES continues.

 

JAMES  
When was the last time you face discrimination?

 

LIZ  
I… I mean, I’m… I’m, you know, bi, so--

 

JAMES  
[sarcastic] Congratulations. That automatically erases the rest of your privilege, doesn’t it?

 

LIZ  
I’m a girl!

 

JAMES  
A rich, abled, cis, conventionally attractive, _white_ girl. You have so much going for you that you don’t even see… Do you feel scared for your fucking life when you see police on the street? Are you afraid of going to the bathroom because you might get beaten up just for having to take a piss? Have you ever questioned how unconditional your parents’ love for you is? Because my mother looked me in the eyes and said that she couldn’t love me the way I am. And then she kicked me out.

 

LIZ  
I’m sorry that happened, but my parents… aren’t the best either.

 

JAMES  
Yeah? Yeah, well at least they aren’t fucking abusive! Get over yourself, you have the perfect fucking life.

 

There’s a long pause as LIZ steps back from JAMES, looking him up and down and he tries to stand proudly, shaking slightly.

 

LIZ  
I need space.

 

JAMES  
What?

 

LIZ  
I said I need some space.

 

LIZ starts to walk away.

 

JAMES  
Wait!

 

LIZ turns around.

 

LIZ  
Block my number. I can’t deal with this right now, because-- Everything’s just so messy with you! You make my brain work harder than it usually does and everything gets all fucked up and confused and too much and I want to go home!

 

JAMES walks up to her as she breathes heavily.

 

JAMES  
I’m sorry, Elizabeth. If you want space, have it. But I’m seriously concerned about you.

 

LIZ  
Yeah? Don’t be.

 

LIZ turns around and walks off quickly, closing her eyes and swallowing to avoid crying.


	2. CLIP TWO: "I've Never Felt Less Cool"

**SUNDAY, MAY 19TH, 21:36**

 

There are shots of various upper middle class houses and the night sky as _“From The Dining Table” by Harry Styles_ plays.

 

INT. LIZ’S ROOM, LIZ’S HOUSE

 

LIZ lies in her bed, on her back, her earbuds in, as she stares blankly at the ceiling, her phone next to her. She stays still for a few moments, unable to do anything else.

 

Soon enough she picks her phone up and scrolls through her messages. There’s been no new ones since the one she sent to JAMES on Saturday morning, not even any from the GIRL SQUAD. She stares blankly at her screen, not having enough energy to be disappointed.

 

Someone knocks on the door and LIZ takes out her earbuds, pausing the music, still holding her phone and sighing.

 

MARY [O.S.]  
Liz? 

 

LIZ  
[monotone] What?

 

MARY [O.S.]  
I made you a sandwich?

 

LIZ  
Okay.

 

There's a pause, LIZ looking down at herself, as if she just remembered she has a body.

 

MARY [O.S.]  
You haven’t been downstairs all weekend. You should eat.

 

LIZ  
Fuck off, I’m busy.

 

MARY laughs, thinking it's their old jokey routine.

 

MARY [O.S.]  
With what? Next year’s homework?

 

LIZ  
[yells] I said fuck off, Mary!

 

MARY goes quiet and LIZ sighs, closing her eyes tightly. There's some light sniffling from outside, and LIZ puts her ear buds back in and presses play, the song resuming.

 

After a few moments, CHARLES speaks, muffled.

 

CHARLES [O.S.]  
Why are you crying?

 

MARY [O.S.]  
Liz… She-- She yelled at me.

 

CHARLES [O.S.]  
Mary, you have to understand that Elizabeth has a lot of problems, so sometimes she just does that.

 

MARY [O.S.]  
But--

 

CHARLES [O.S.]  
She’s sick. We have to let her be.

 

LIZ turns the music up louder, rolling onto her left side and punching the pillow, not crying but breathing heavily. She’s trying to cry, but she can’t anymore.

 

She just stares blankly at the wall, focusing on the window. The curtains are still open, and it's night now. She closes her eyes, trying to sleep.


	3. CLIP THREE: "Ignorance, Prejudice and Stupidity"

**MONDAY, MAY 20TH, 12:27**

 

INT. CLASSROOM

 

LIZ sits at one of the desks, a biology textbook in front of her that she flips through quickly, looking more and more stressed with each passing second.

 

ESTHER walks in and LIZ doesn’t look up, just reading and reading as ESTHER sits beside her.

 

ESTHER  
Hey.

 

LIZ doesn’t respond.

 

ESTHER  
You okay?

 

LIZ  
Studying. I have my biology exam after lunch, so… 

 

ESTHER  
Ah. Maybe you should take a break.

 

LIZ  
Probably not.

 

ESTHER  
Liz. I kind of want to talk to you.

 

LIZ slowly pushes the book to the side of the table and looks at ESTHER.

 

LIZ  
Okay?

 

ESTHER  
I wanted to apologise. I was kind of a bitch to you when you came out, so… I was really stressed and stuff, I’m sorry.

 

LIZ  
It’s fine, don’t worry about it.

 

ESTHER

And… I heard about James.

 

LIZ nervously laughs.

 

LIZ  
What about him?

 

ESTHER  
I heard you two had something going on, and… I heard he smashed a bottle over Bryan’s head. I mean, my biggest problem with it is that I wasn’t the one to do it, but… Did you see the video?

 

LIZ  
What?

 

ESTHER  
Jake shared the video of it happening with Sandy, who shared it with me, and then we sent it to the group chat. 

 

LIZ  
Oh. I-- I muted it to study, so… 

 

ESTHER  
Oh. So… What’s the deal with you and him, then?

 

LIZ  
The deal is… I like him. I really like him. And that… It really scares me. And the fact that he can do stuff like that really scares me, how he can be one person one second and turn around and completely change.

 

ESTHER  
Liz, people change--

 

LIZ  
Do they? Because, from what I’ve seen, everyone is just the same person all of the time. Sometimes they just manage to convince you they’re different, but they’re not. 

 

ESTHER  
Maybe so, but people do change over time. Like Sandy, she’s different from when we first met her, right?

 

LIZ  
She just stopped pretending.

 

ESTHER sighs.

 

ESTHER  
Liz, I think there’s a bigger problem here than you just being a bit angsty.

 

LIZ nervously laughs.

 

ESTHER  
You like James. But you don’t want to be seen liking James. Why?

 

LIZ  
Because…! He’s a bad person.

 

ESTHER  
Really? How?

 

LIZ  
He… He hurt Rori. And he always beats people up, and drinks a lot, and he never studies, and he… He’s just a bad person! He’s mean!

 

ESTHER  
Elizabeth, Rori forgave James a long time ago, and he beats up dickheads who deserve it. And the other things are just what teenagers do.

 

LIZ  
It isn’t healthy.

 

ESTHER  
You know what isn’t healthy? The fact that you, time and time again, always sympathise with Bryan over any of us.

 

LIZ  
I do not!

 

ESTHER  
Yes. You do. When Sandy was in the worst time of her life, you still chose to listen to Bryan. When James regular gets the shit kicked out of himself just because Bryan and his mates think it’s fun to hurt him specifically, you don’t see anything wrong with it. 

 

LIZ laughs and folds her arms.

 

LIZ  
You sound just like James.

 

ESTHER  
So he called you out too? Good.

 

LIZ  
You don’t have to be so mean all of the fucking time.

 

ESTHER  
Why not? I still remember you telling me that some stuff might work in my “Jewish lesbo world”.

 

LIZ looks down.

 

LIZ  
That was ages ago… 

 

ESTHER  
Liz, I say this because we’re sort of friends, and however much you may be ignorant, I still care about you. I may forgive, but I don’t forget, and your biggest problem is that you can’t take criticism.

 

LIZ  
I can!

 

ESTHER  
Really? What was your response when James talked to you like that, then?

 

LIZ  
I told him I needed space, because, as a feminist, I won’t be spoken to like that.

 

ESTHER  
Liz, when someone calls you out for your bigotry, you can’t use your unrelated minority status to purify yourself.

 

LIZ  
How is it unrelated?

 

ESTHER  
You can still have privilege over him, even though he’s a guy.

 

LIZ  
Stop trying to change my opinions, okay? I’m sick of you always acting so high and mighty about everything when you don’t even know anything about my life!

 

ESTHER  
I’m not trying to change your opinions--

 

LIZ  
Yes! You are! You come in here acting all sweet, and then you just-- You go all social justice warrior on me!

 

ESTHER  
Liz, breathe.

 

There’s a pause as LIZ takes deep breaths, calming down, still looking mad.

 

ESTHER  
No one can change your opinion but you. Yes, others may influence you to do so, but it’s your decision. And… You know, I used to think changing my opinion was the worst thing in the world. That it made me weak or stupid or that I was going through a phase or something. But… Changing your opinions and owning up to being wrong doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong and independent, no matter if you change it on your own or with help.

 

LIZ  
But… Esther, I’ve said so many things that I don’t really mean.

 

ESTHER  
Then apologise for them. Be the bigger person. 

 

LIZ  
Okay…

 

There’s a pause, ESTHER looks at LIZ expectantly.

 

LIZ  
Esther, I’m sorry. For being such a bitch to you for all of this time. I just wanted to be in charge and in control of everything so much that… I don’t know, I didn’t think anyone else could do it.

 

ESTHER  
Thank you. Which is why we have to work together. The show opens in less than a month, and we haven’t had one dress rehearsal, and we’ve been missing our pianist recently.

 

LIZ  
Yeah, sorry…

 

ESTHER  
It’s fine. As long as you come back.

 

LIZ  
What about James?

 

ESTHER  
What about him?

 

LIZ  
I-- I can barely look at him, knowing that he did that. Not just to Bryan, but that he would be so violent. I’m very against war, and just… I hate that he would do that.

 

ESTHER  
Did you ask him why he did it?

 

LIZ sighs.

 

LIZ  
No.

 

ESTHER  
He did it because he was scared. You know what Bryan’s been doing recently, right?

 

LIZ shakes her head.

 

ESTHER  
He’s been saying all of this racist and homophobic shit to Nick. Nick just laughs it off, you know Nick, but James got mad and tried to protect him, which made Bryan turn on him. According to Sophie, Sophie’s brother’s been selling less and less weed to Bryan, so something's telling me his “business” is going down, so he went for Nick. 

 

LIZ  
Jesus Christ, Nick never told me.

 

ESTHER  
It’s not like you guys are close. At rehearsal you just stay at your piano and only ever talk to us girls. And, can I just say, it’s interesting that you say you’re against war in relation to this. You know that war doesn’t come from violence, right? It comes from ignorance, prejudice and stupidity.

 

LIZ  
Okay… So?

 

ESTHER  
So if you want a peaceful world, you have to try and understand why other people think and behave the way they do. You have to accept that not everyone has lived the same life you do.

 

LIZ  
Yeah… But so do you.

 

ESTHER  
I know, okay? I know. And I’m working on it, because I know I can’t believe that I alone have the answers to what’s right and what’s wrong. If you haven’t even made an attempt to understand someone you care for, then that makes me question my faith in humanity. I’m not saying you have to date him, but you should at least try to understand him. He’s genuinely a nice guy.

 

LIZ  
Esther, he hates me. Just like Rori does, and probably everyone else too.

 

ESTHER  
You know what you have to do then.

 

LIZ   
Yeah, beg for forgiveness.

 

ESTHER  
Not beg. Ask.

 

LIZ  
Yeah… Why are you being so nice to me?

 

ESTHER  
Because… I’m trying to learn that being kind is more important than being stubborn.

 

LIZ  
How are you so smart?

 

ESTHER  
I’m really not. 

 

LIZ  
Yes, you are!

 

ESTHER  
You’re wrong, but go off.

 

They both laugh a little and there’s a silence.

 

LIZ  
Hey?

 

ESTHER  
Hmm?

 

LIZ  
Would you… help me study? You know, ask me questions and shit?

 

ESTHER  
Yeah, I have nothing else to do. Not that I don’t want to do this.

 

ESTHER picks the book up from the opposite side of the table and begins to read from it.

 

ESTHER  
Dear God, I’m so glad I don’t take biology.

 

LIZ laughs, genuinely happy, as ESTHER smiles at her.


	4. CLIP FOUR: "Meltdown"

**TUESDAY, MAY 21ST, 18:11**

 

INT. KITCHEN, LIZ’S HOUSE

 

LIZ walks into the kitchen, taking her school bag off and throwing it on the floor as she does. MARY’s sitting on her usual stool, on her phone, and upon seeing LIZ, gets up, not bothering to look back at her, and walks out of the room, slamming the door.

 

LIZ sighs, tapping her fingers together as she walks over to the fridge and opens it, looking around in it for something, but clearly not finding it.

 

She looks all over again, growing more and more visibly frustrated, aggressively tapping the fridge door, doing a low sort of whine/groan, getting louder with each second.

 

She suddenly stops looking and steps back, still groaning and wriggling her hands in front of herself, staring down at them with anger and confusion. It's as if they don't wont anymore.

 

LIZ  
D-- D-- D-- D--

 

She groans again, louder, as CHARLES enters, clearly panicked.

 

CHARLES  
Shit. Victoria!

 

LIZ groans louder, shaking her head and hands, as CHARLES nervously paces in front of the door the door.

 

CHARLES  
Elizabeth, you’re going to be fine, you’re just having a melt--

 

VICTORIA [O.S.]  
Charles, what the hell is going on? I have a client.

 

VICTORIA walks in and sees LIZ. She immediately rolls her eyes, sighs and walks over to LIZ, who’s still groaning, and holds her hands still, making LIZ take a sharp intake of breath.

 

VICTORIA  
Stop fidgeting and stop making that godforsaken noise.

 

LIZ keeps groaning and VICTORIA sighs again.

 

VICTORIA  
Just go to your room. At least no one will hear you there.

 

LIZ  
But-- But-- But--

 

VICTORIA  
You don’t have a stutter, stop it.

 

LIZ  
Fishcakes.

 

CHARLES  
I can go buy some?

 

LIZ nods quickly, her groaning stopping.

 

VICTORIA  
Go study, Elizabeth. Don’t you have another exam tomorrow?

 

LIZ nods, shaking her hands away from VICTORIA, still fidgeting, and walking out of the door.

 

CHARLES and VICTORIA exchange a look, VICTORIA tired and CHARLES defeated.

 

INT. HALLWAY

 

LIZ keeps walking as she takes her phone out of her pocket and searches “autism melt”. It auto-corrects to “autism meltdown”. It brings up a list of videos showing young white boys all screaming, some lying on the floor, some crying. LIZ's mouth falls open, as she quickly scrolls down to see "The Parent's Guide To Autistic Meltdowns", "What To Do If Your Child Had A Meltdown" and "The Differences Between A Child's Tantrum And Meltdown".

 

She shakes her head and turns her phone off, slowly walking up the stairs, exhausted.


	5. CLIP FIVE: "It's Permanent"

**THURSDAY, MAY 23RD, 12:23**

 

INT. STAGE, SALLIS BENNEY THEATRE

 

It opens on a shot of a backpack with “SLUT” written on it with black marker.

 

We pan out to see BRIANNA, who’s holding the bag, and RORI staring at it with shock, both of them sitting in the front row. LIZ is sitting on the piano bench, also looking at the bag blankly, as the rest of the cast chat in the theatre seats.

 

RORI  
Did you try washing it off?

 

BRIANNA  
Yeah. It’s permanent.

 

RORI  
Do you know who wrote it?

 

BRIANNA  
It wasn’t there when I got here, but I have a suspicion that it’s the same person who made the most iconic account of the year.

 

RORI  
Jesus… Do you have any suspects?

 

BRIANNA  
This isn’t Riverdale, Rori. And I don’t care who did it. It’s good advertising.

 

RORI  
[laughing] Brianna!

 

BRIANNA  
But seriously, it’s no big deal. People can say what they want about me, it’s not gonna change how I live.

 

RORI  
Hell yeah!

 

RORI holds up her hand and BRIANNA high fives it, putting her bah back under the table.

 

BRIANNA  
Besides, bigger things to worry about. Like the guy who set off the fire alarm  _ again _ today.

 

RORI  
What a dick.

 

BRIANNA  
Speaking of, can I borrow your maths notes?

 

RORI  
Yeah, of course. Wait. Fuck, I left my bag at school, so… 

 

BRIANNA  
Great… 

 

She looks over to the stage, RORI and LIZ following her gaze, to where SANDY and ESTHER are, painting a backdrop of the set and laughing together, messing around with the paint.

 

BRIANNA  
No point in asking them… I’ll go see if Nick has his.

 

BRIANNA stands up, and RORI instantly does too.

 

RORI  
I’ll come with! I need to study too, so… 

 

BRIANNA  
Alright.

 

They walk off to NICK and LIZ looks around herself, bouncing her leg.

 

She accidentally makes eye contact with JAKE, who’s poorly attempting to play an acoustic guitar. She quickly looks away, seeing ALI sitting at the very back of the theatre, ELEANOR next to her, writing on a clipboard with a black marker.

 

LIZ makes the connection in her head and stands up, quickly walking over to them.

 

ELEANOR  
I’m just saying, it’s not my fault I’m the only true soprano in the show, I have to carry the harmonies all by myself, on top of my two solos, and that’s not to mention the lines I have to remember, as the only villain.

 

ALI nods, as LIZ finally reaches them.

 

ELEANOR  
Can I help you?

 

LIZ  
Yes, actually. I have a question for you.

 

ELEANOR  
No, I won’t give you vocal lessons.

 

LIZ  
What? No. Did you write on Brianna Holland’s bag?

 

ELEANOR  
Why do you ask?

 

LIZ looks pointedly at the marker in her hand as ELEANOR sighs.

 

ELEANOR  
What does this have to do with it? It’s just a marker. I haven’t committed some crime by using a marker, have I?

 

LIZ  
You’re not answering my question.

 

ELEANOR doesn’t respond, looking guiltily around.

 

LIZ  
I’ll take that as a yes. Why?

 

ELEANOR  
Huh?

 

LIZ  
Why’d you do it?

 

ELEANOR  
Because… She’s a bitch. Always has been, always will be. Why shouldn’t someone say something about it?

 

LIZ  
Why should _you_ judge her choices? She’s not hurting anyone. You are.

 

ELEANOR  
You don’t know what she’s like-- 

 

LIZ  
I do. She’s one of my best friends. So you take that account down and buy her a new bag, or I’ll tell your principal and get you kicked off your play.

 

ELEANOR scoffs.

 

ELEANOR  
That’s blackmail, and I shouldn’t have to pay for anything.

 

LIZ  
You’re wearing a Hamilton London sweatshirt, if you can afford to see Hamilton, you can get someone a bag.

 

ELEANOR  
You’re fucking crazy.

 

ALI nervously laughs, shifting around in her seat as LIZ smiles sweetly, repressing anger.

 

LIZ  
Get out your phone.

 

ELEANOR gets out her phone and LIZ takes it from her and goes into Instagram, deleting the “brianna_the_slut” account. She hands it back to her.

 

LIZ  
Thank you.

 

LIZ starts to walk away, and ELEANOR calls after her.

 

ELEANOR  
You’re not in the show, why are you even here?

 

LIZ turns around, smiling.

 

LIZ  
I could ask you the same thing.

 

ELEANOR scoffs again and LIZ continues walking away, the smile immediately falling from her face, as _“Cliche” by mxmtoon_ starts to play.

 

She looks across the room at JAMES as she walks, and JAMES puts down his script, watching her, as she actively avoids looking at him. But she can’t stop herself from sneaking a few glances.

 

She sits back down at the piano, getting out her phone and drafting a text to BRIANNA saying “Hey, I got rid of that hate account about you”, but she stops before sending it.

 

She deletes it, and watches BRIANNA laugh with RORI and NICK for a few moments. She then closes her eyes and lets out a sigh.


	6. CLIP SIX: "What's Wrong With Me"

**FRIDAY, MAY 24TH, 15:19**

 

INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM, BACA

 

LIZ sits in an empty classroom, pouring over a maths textbook, making quick, panicked notes in her notebook as she does. Whenever she's reading, she's tapping her pen against her forearm.

 

After a few moments, the door opens, the song ending. LIZ doesn’t look up.

 

JAMES [O.S.]  
Hey, there you are.

 

LIZ looks up and sees JAMES. She doesn't react and continues to work, just as quick.

 

LIZ  
What do you want?

 

JAMES  
Esther sent me to look for you. Rehearsal started five minutes ago.

 

LIZ  
Oh.

 

LIZ stops writing, looking down at her notes, almost surprised that she made them.

 

LIZ  
Sorry.

 

JAMES  
It’s fine.

 

LIZ doesn’t get up. JAMES smiles awkwardly as there’s a short silence.

 

JAMES  
Um, there's rumours that Jake went down on Erin McBride in the girls' toilets, so Brianna's gonna question him about it, it's gonna be fun. So… You coming?

 

LIZ  
Could-- Could I talk to you? About something?

 

JAMES  
Yeah, what’s up?

 

LIZ sighs, taking a moment to pull herself together.

 

LIZ  
I… I wanted to apologise. For the last time. I wasn’t listening to you, I was just obsessed with being right. And… I was ignorant and wrong. I’m sorry.

 

JAMES is speechless for a moment, surprised.

 

JAMES  
Well… Thank you. 

 

LIZ nods, beginning to work again as JAMES moves a bit closer to her.

 

JAMES  
Elizabeth, are you okay?

 

LIZ  
What? Of course I’m okay.

 

JAMES  
Are you sure? Because you’re studying for an exam we just did.

 

LIZ  
I’m not studying, I’m going over everything I did to see what I got wrong, and I got a lot wrong, so I have to keep working, because my brain’s not working properly.

 

JAMES  
Okay, maybe you should just stop working and come to rehearsal, it might calm you down?

 

LIZ  
No!

 

JAMES  
Why-- Why not?

 

LIZ  
Because I can't think straight! My mind is all messy and crowded and it won’t stop telling me everything I do wrong and it won’t stop and it won't-- And-- Fuck, I can’t breathe. My heart’s jumping out of my fucking chest, I’m dying. I have to be dying because I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

 

LIZ hyperventilates and JAMES looks around nervously.

 

JAMES  
Look, I’m pretty sure you’re just having a panic attack, it’s okay, they happen to everyone, it’s totally normal--

 

LIZ  
No! This feeling is  _ not  _ normal!

 

JAMES  
Okay, okay, um, breathe with me.

 

LIZ  
What?

 

JAMES  
Breathe.

 

JAMES starts to breathe deeply as LIZ looks at him strangely. After a few moments, LIZ starts to breathe in sync with him, slowly down and looking a bit more calm.

 

JAMES  
Okay, you keep breathing--

 

LIZ  
Yeah, I kind of think I have to.

 

JAMES  
Elizabeth, come on. I’m gonna take you home, okay?

 

LIZ  
But rehearsal--

 

JAMES  
You obviously don’t wanna go, come on.

 

LIZ nods, and tries to get up, falling back down into her chair as JAMES gathers her stuff up and puts it in her bag.

 

JAMES  
Is it okay if I help you walk?

 

LIZ  
Yeah, thanks.

 

JAMES helps LIZ to her feet and puts an arm around her waist as she puts one around his shoulders, _“Grow As We Go” by Ben Platt_ beginning as they walk out of the door, LIZ’s bag on JAMES’s back.

 

INT. HALLWAY, BACA

 

JAMES and LIZ walk down the hallway in slow motion, various people also walking down the hall, staring at them, confused. JAMES flips them off, making some of them laugh, as they all whisper silently.

 

LIZ closes her eyes tightly, putting her free hand over her nearest ear and pressing her other ear into JAMES.

 

INT. STAIRWAY, LIZ’S HOUSE

 

JAMES helps LIZ up the stairs, LIZ holding onto the banister and walking up a bit herself as JAMES stands still. 

 

She looks behind herself to see JAMES nodding at MARY, who looks at LIZ with a mix of pity and understanding as she walks back out the door.

 

INT. LIZ’S ROOM, LIZ’S HOUSE

 

JAMES helps LIZ in, and the speed returns to normal, the song slowly fading out as LIZ sits on her bed, JAMES sitting beside her.

 

JAMES  
Okay, you need to rest.

 

LIZ  
What? Why?

 

JAMES  
Because whenever I get like that, rest always helps.

 

LIZ  
You couldn’t get like this, you’re too… 

 

JAMES  
We can talk about it later. 

 

LIZ  
But I should study, I have an exam on Monday, and then two on Tuesday, and--

 

JAMES  
What’s more important? Exams or you?

 

LIZ  
Exams, duh.

 

JAMES sighs as LIZ yawns, trying and failing to stifle it.

 

JAMES  
When was the last time you slept?

 

LIZ  
Last night.

 

JAMES  
How long?

 

LIZ doesn’t respond for a while. She sighs.

 

LIZ  
An hour.

 

JAMES  
And when did you last eat?

 

LIZ doesn’t respond.

 

JAMES  
Elizabeth?

 

LIZ  
You’re not my dad, okay? I don’t have to talk to you about this.

 

JAMES stands up.

 

JAMES  
Okay. I’ll text you, you rest.

 

JAMES starts to walk out, and LIZ closes her eyes tightly.

 

LIZ  
Wait!

 

JAMES turns around and she looks him in the eyes.

 

LIZ  
Would you stay?

 

JAMES nods as LIZ lies down on her bed, JAMES lying beside her, keeping his distance.

 

LIZ  
Would you… Hold me?

 

JAMES  
Yeah, of course.

 

LIZ rolls over to lie on her side, JAMES doing the same, and JAMES puts his arm around her waist, holding her gently.

 

LIZ  
I’m so tired, James… 

 

JAMES  
It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay. We can talk about it tomorrow.

 

LIZ nods.

 

LIZ  
Um… Can I ask you something?

 

JAMES  
Yeah?

 

LIZ  
Would you sing for me?

 

JAMES  
Of course.

 

LIZ lies still as JAMES smiles at her, softly singing.

 

JAMES  
_ Perfect for you _ __   
_ I will be perfect for you _ __   
_ So you could go crazy _ __   
_ Or I could go crazy, it's true _ __   
_ Sometimes life is insane _ __   
_ But crazy I know I can do _ __   
_ 'Cause crazy is perfect _ __   
_ And fucked up is perfect _ __   
_ So I will be perfect…  _ _   
_ __ Perfect for you

 

LIZ sighs softly, moving around a bit as JAMES kisses the back of her head.

 

JAMES  
[whispers] I love you.

 

LIZ  
[whispers] I-- I love you too.

 

JAMES holds her tighter as she lets herself close her eyes, her breathing finally, truly calm. 

 

_ CUT TO BLACK _

 

_ CUT TO END CREDITS AS SILENCE PLAYS _


End file.
